Are there any thumb rules to it? Are there any “standards” or “practices” that you should follow to save your marriage? You can say yes, but it is still quite subjective for the most part. But for the majority of us, we can save our marriage and/ or relationships by following a few ground rules.
When you go to your local marriage and family counseling expert in Newport Beach, they would advise you to be patient and make certain changes in your behavior and attitude. This is actually going to benefit you and your spouse in the long run. The first step you can take towards saving your crumbling relationship and putting your marriage back together is welcoming change. When you feel that you are on the brink of divorce or getting distant from each other, you need to take things in your hands and make the following changes gradually:
You Are Not A Victim
Isn’t this a universal truth? We always seem to play the victim card without realizing what we have done to our relationship or how we have contributed to the failure of our marriage. You are probably thinking that your spouse is at fault here and that he/she shouldn’t have done what they did. According to the leading Newport Beach marriage counselors, people get nowhere by trying to guilt their partner into admitting their fault in breaking their marriage. This is an utter waste of time and it just further strains your marriage. You will be asked to remember all the good things about your marriage. You need to focus on the positive and not the negative.
Express Your Feelings No Matter What
You or your spouse or both of you are probably holding up a lot of feelings in your heart and mind. You have frustration about certain things and also anger and resentment and a lot of pain that you have kept hidden from each other. This is the toxic bit in your relationship that you are holding on to. You need to get it all out in the open in the most cordial manner without hurting each other’s feelings. Your marriage and family counseling expert will suggest you to make a list of things that make you angry, resentful or bitter towards each other. You will need to address these problems one by one if you want your marriage to work.
We Don’t Really Like To Compromise
No, we don’t but we often forget that life isn’t picture perfect like we see in movies. Even they don’t show the struggles of the couple in love onscreen. They don’t look beyond the happy meeting of the male and female leads (at the last minute at the airport) in your favorite romcom movie. Majestically mediocre! The real problems begin after that airport kiss. This is when you should realize that there is another life attached to you and that your life is going to change. A few compromises on both the ends always get you through so you will have to be open to that idea as well and see how your married life blooms.